Peter’s Director’s Diary (2008)

This Director’s Diary was written by Peter van Dolen during the preparations for LEF’s As You Like It.


21 Awst 2008

First entry.

(Well, actually, second entry. I had typed this whole thing on the page-editor thing, but when I clicked on “save page”, or whatever it says, the absolute bullocks had logged me out!)

Second. Entry.

(It is also probably fair if I warn you in advance (wow, there’s an ontological dilema in the nation of nouns! Is a warning afterwards still a warning?)… Returning to my initial warning in advance… This diary is going to be the most irregularly kept and boring diary you are likely to ever read. For which I apologise. In advance.)

Dear D…



(I feel it’s imperative to the success of this diary to name my diary. Apparently it is the ethical thing to do… AAAAAAAH!!! I have just, for the third time in fifteen minutes, been interrupted by the little girl next door having some question about computers, demanding me to walk all the way down to open the door. I live on the third floor. The tedium… Initially I wanted to name my diary Kitty — I felt that might be a good name for a diary — but I just found out someone has had the annoying frankness to… AAAAAAAAAAH!!! Monstrous, miniature meretrix!!! For fooks sake! Right, I’m back again, and no I did not have the key to HER garden door. Jaysus! … resuming… the audacious frankness to give her diary that name already. After having hung upside down for a few hours, holding on tightly to my thinking fez (imagine that! A thinking fez! That would be brilliant), I came up with Mr. Puddle the Badger. Oh, and as you might have noticed I decided to give dates in Welsh, as it is a very funny and simultaneously lovely language. You just wait until we get to July! It’s bleedin’ brilliant!)

Dear mr. Puddle the Badger,

(See? I think that works wonder-well (not to be confused with the Oasis song). I might even make him a doctor. Or have him knighted one day. Sir Puddle the Badger… One can dream…)

Today I wrote in my online diary. It took a while.

Silver softly,

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